When Feelings Are Not Rational

When Feelings Are Not Rational
I’m going to be honest here: for me this article is a manifesto inspired by personal therapy (yes, I have a therapist, too). A manifesto about legitimising one’s feelings and accepting all sides of one’s personality.Probably like many others, I tend to use rationalisation as a defence mechanism. To put it simply: sometimes I think instead of feeling.What is the source of this defence? As a therapist, I can answer that it comes from our childhood. W...

Why Optical Illusions?

Why Optical Illusions?
Recently I have noticed an interesting comparison, and I’d like to share with you my thoughts about it.But first let me show you some famous optical illusions. Most likely you’ve already seen them somewhere on the Internet, but let us look at them one more time.For example, here is the well-known illusion of the girl who rotates in an undetermined direction. I recall a number of lengthy discussions, when it first appeared online, as to which way sh...

So You Wish to Be Perfect?

So You Wish to Be Perfect?
I don't care if it hurts, I want to have control. I want a perfect body, I want a perfect soul.(Radiohead)Sometimes it feels as if you’ve got to do everything perfectly – to be perfect, in fact. It’s like a voice ringing in your head: ‘Don’t you dare get it wrong! Surely you’re capable of doing everything right, so go on, seek options, work hard, pay attention, analyse, and obtain the best result!’ So you set to work, and you’re constantly se

So Who Is Happy Then?

So Who Is Happy Then?
A 12-year-old told me recently how the teacher asked her class to think about whether most people on Earth were happy. As a result, the class ended up discussing what is happiness, actually. A difficult topic, apparently, but one relevant to both schoolchildren and adults.I would like to share a theory from transactional analysis, which, in my opinion, tackles this question best.I must start with a disclaimer: we won’t be talking about feeling happ

Questionnaire to Identify Problematic Stages of Development

Questionnaire to Identify Problematic Stages of Development
Is it true that all psychological problems started in our childhood? According to the theory of transactional analyst Pamela Levin, at different ages children face various development challenges that determine the basic needs and behaviours of children. Knowing this, parents can help children develop harmoniously and to perform tasks that are part of these challenges. Unfortunately it is often the case that due to external circumstances, education, or simp...

Psychotherapist for everyone!

Psychotherapist for everyone!
It seems to me that most people do not use the services of psychotherapists simply because they are not aware of this perfect opportunity. On the Internet you can find so many questions to psychologists - people who passionately want to change something in their lives are randomly looking for answers and tips on the network, not even knowing that there is such a great tool, as psychotherapy. But in my opinion this is not the only problem of the popularizat...

Psychological T-Shirts

Psychological T-Shirts
…or, What Is Written on Our Face.Do you like T-shirts with funny captions? Transactional analysis has a theory about “psychological T-shirts”, on whose front we carry the message we send to the world. This is a message people usually notice at once: it is perceived in conversation, tone, behaviour, looks, facial expression, gestures, and sometimes even in dressing style and posture. We all wear such “T-shirts”, but some of us will have a dozen, changin...

Moving according to Pamela Levin theory or my spiral inside spirals

Moving according to Pamela Levin theory or my spiral inside spirals
I hope you are familiar with the theory of cyclic development of Pamela Levin. If not, I can briefly explain. The concept suggests that each person develops, passing certain stages. And after all these stages of development people are starting to take the same steps again, but on a different level. Similar to a spiral movement.But still, this same theory says that every important event in our lives, starts a new "branch" of the main spiral, which will ...

9 myths about bilinguals

9 myths about bilinguals
There are many myths about who can be called a bilingual, and about the whole phenomenon of bilingualism. Here are the most common ones:Bilingualism is a rare phenomenon.Nope! According to a rough statistics calculation, more than half the world's population uses two or more languages. So in today's world, monolingualism is a more rare phenomenon. Bilingualism is common in even officially monolingual countries - it unites people of different age...

The curse of procrastination

The curse of procrastination
I think that in some way, everybody is familiar with procrastination - postponing important things, mindlessly scrolling through news feeds on social networks, and watching dozens of episodes of mindless sitcoms, as well as many other irrelevant and useless affairs that somehow become wedged into our more important and rational plans.I was planning to write this article a few months ago. But, of course, I had a lot of other important things to do - rep...